You did not decide. You defaulted. There's a difference.

There is a specific kind of yes that is not really a decision.

It happens before you have had a chance to think.

Someone asks, you answer, and then two hours later you are wondering how you ended up committed to something you did not want to do.

This is not a willpower problem. It is a pattern problem. And the pattern started long before the request.

For the Overthinking Moon, the auto-yes happens because the analysis takes too long. By the time she has processed the request from every angle, the window has closed and agreeing was the path of least resistance. She mistakes thoroughness for consideration, when actually she bypassed the most important question: do I want this?

For the Boundaryless Sun, the yes is not even experienced as a choice. It is a reflex. Someone has a need and she fills it. The idea of pausing to ask whether she wants to fill it does not come naturally, because her identity is so wrapped up in being someone who shows up that the question itself feels disloyal.

The pattern matters here because the intervention is different. The Overthinking Moon needs a shorter window. The Boundaryless Sun needs a moment of separation between the request and the response. Not the same fix.

This is what the sign-specific tools this month are designed to do. Give you something that actually accounts for how your particular system works.

Check your sign meeting and tools in the Stress Zodiac Collective via Skool for yours, or reach out at cindy@cindyransomLMFT.com.

That same question, do I want this, is at the core of the Stress Zodiac framework, which I will be introducing live to a room of business women at the createHERS Conference in Orlando this August. I am speaking August 14-16. If you are a woman in business and you are in the area, I want you in that room.

CLICK HERE for Conference tickets and use code TAKE20 for 20% off

Big hugs,
Cindy

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Cindy Ransom, LMFT

Specializing in stress & anxiety · Founder of the Stress Zodiac